Observer

Hello, bello, Fellas! Hehehe it's been awhile not seeing you, you, you and you! Ha, I got some headache for sure here. Hehehe aaaaaanywaaaaayyy, I miss writing stuffs here and tell all of you what I've been through along these times of absences. Well, good day, everyone. It's May, huh? 2014 seems running so fast I could not even remember how I start this year. Aaand how do I start this post this time? Okay, let's sum up my life in this five months of 2014!

I'm sure I've posted couples months ago and told you some stories. Well, last month was April and it was our month -- Adit and my month to be exact. Ha! Ha! Ha! It sounds sooo cheesy that you you could throw up, but I hope you don't. Please, please I'm just so happy to have an anniversary for twice with Adit. Yeah, last April, to be exact on April 26th, 2014 was my second anniversary with him. Yay, finally I beat that fear that I couldn't go through this relationship for more than a year! Yes, yes, call it a trauma. For me, for him, for us. I won't tell about his, but mine, okay the point is I always have that short-term relationships with those guys back then. I found myself always being the brokenhearted party, left party, cheated on party, someone taken for granted party, that kind of person. Pathetic, right? I was. Yet, I try, I try and try to keep this relationship don't last for a short time and I always hope it will last for... yeah long time. Who don't? Back to my celebration *eceileh*, nothing's much. I just sent him a 'happy second anniversary' message and he replied it. We said prayers for our better personality, behaviour, future, everything. No cake, no confetti, no balloons, no flowers, no even presents, just prayers. I did remember why we couldn't have a proper dinner, perhaps. He should take care of his grandpa, since he was hospitalized. Thank God, there's no bad symptom or worse illness, just exhaution or something. I couldn't really remember the causal factor of grandpa's sickness. Oh, even up to today we don't have a proper dinner yet. I mean, just the two of us having a romantic dinner or just dinner, it'll be okay and date all day. Thanks to uni duties, weather, bancruptcy, going home, uni agenda, it doesn't happen yet. THAAAAAAAAAANK YOOOUUU SOOOOOOOO MUCH! No overreaction, please. Calm down, we still can have a silly date which I always have with him. But I miss talking all day with him. You know, it feels so much romantic to have a conversation, a smart one, with him. It feels more fun to have a silly one or talk about someone else! We did it most time, we share it with our friends, too. Call it evil, but it's fun! We can share laugh, news, gossip, everything. Just like the other couples, we are just a very ordinary normal couple. Hehe hopefully we can have third anniversary next year, the forth, fifth, sixth and so on. Then finally we get married, and so on, and so on. :D

Let's have another topic. Well, it's my forth year in uni, 8th semester. Ugh! It's the semester that full of pressure. You know, when you are in your last year in uni, usually, your parents start complaining and force you to end your uni life and graduate soon. Or the worse thing when there was a family gathering and someone asked, "What year are you in uni? Oh, in 8th! You will graduate soon, huh?", ooor..., "Wow, finally you do the thesis, dont you?", even worse, "Have you done your thesis?" The hell are you asking me about, people. Oops, sorry it was rude. But, I just can't get what's on these people's mind when ask about 'that thing'. It is so damn sensitive to be asked when you're in forth year and you still have theorical subjects or introduction for this and that methodology to be accomplished. Yeah, my fault, too, I didn't take my lecturing seriously. I don't know. When I thought I've tried my best, I received a bad score in return, I just couldn't get what's on those lecturers' mind. I do as the lecturers instructed, yet I still couldn't reach their expectation. They should understand that people have different level of intelligence and their speed to catch what the lecturers said. Parents, too. Why are they so demanding? Why did they always compare their kids with another kids? Does that even make sense? Oh, well just clone us from a bit of blood of a professor or genius and you get what you want. Or worse, the world will be a world of genius and there is no justice. Just eat cereal then. Craaaaaaap!
This sensitive thingy will always haunt me and my parents, especially my dear mother, will aaaaalwaaaaayyysssss be demanding and teasing me with this thesis thing. Just eat me, Mom, eat me. Yet, I'll try my veryveryvery BEST to prove that I'm not that dumd to gently present my dear mother a thesis, thesis of my bloody and sweaty experiment in university of Sebelas Maret. Yay! Glory Glory Sebelas Maret University!!!

Oh well, off of that hot and flaming thingy. Guys, did I ever tell that I'm a type of good reader and listener? Haha I might look messy and sloppy, yet I love reading, not that much tho. I just finished reading a metropop novel of an Indonesian novelist titled Antologi Rasa. Apin, my dear friend since from high school, borrowed me and I -- a bit forced, read it. Must say, it is an unrated book and I'm sure the novelist did make her piece simple in cover, but full of wisdom and magical words and sentences I can't imagine I could see that in Indonesian novel. Well, I didn't read much in this past 3 years, even I stopped buying novel and chick literatures from a long time ago. I feel comforted in bookstore, yet I'll feel like I must go out immediately from that place. I'm the typical of EDM listener and social media observer now. You know that Zedd, Alesso, Avicii, Hardwell person just hit this industry of music with brilliant invention of their talent in music, in DJ thingy to be exact. There must be some songs arranged in your playlist. You didn't listen them anymore, yet you're too lazy to delete it. I did, I do, I will perhaps. There are more than 100 songs arranged in a playlist in my cellphone, yet I'd like listening some certain songs that are hype and most of us know and could sing it. I'm that type of person. I don't have a favorite song which is always be my favorite and it must be in playlist. I just listen what I want to listen. When it comes to a song I don't want to listen, I just skipped it. Many times. Talking about Antologi Rasa I mentioned back then, it was published in August 2011 and made by Ika Natassa. It becomes a big hit and I didn't know about it until Apin give it to me. That way I just want to read her other masterpiece, such as A Very Yuppy Wedding, Divortiare and Underground. Once I read her last piece, I thougt the other pieces must have the same or almost the same theme. Actually I enjoy that. Reading stuffs, although -- must say it was a bit shocking and I was like... yeah, that's the truth. People, environment, media, food, drink and many more build a person to have to survive in every situation, implied in a situation they don't want to involve into. I just love how Ika Natassa build and develop her characters she made in the novel. Actually, the characters were made by a female novelist, so the way the characters talk, act, think just too female. Yup, in a logic way I mean. Still, it'd be a very good reading and I just can't stop reading it. I finished reading it in a couple of hours. For your information, it is a bit thick a new reader. Yet, it's sooo brilliant!

Apart from my ordinary daily life, I must thank God that I still can breathe and enjoy life the way I want. God and I have a private business that another people can't interfere us. It is a personal matter and they couldn't make me pounding. The earth is old and it needs to be bathed with prayers, worship and love. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe in God. The One who created and gave me life. Wow, it must be a heaviest talk I've ever said. Just, be good, people.

Far Back

Hello bloggers, very long time no see, right? It's 2014, anyway. Happy new year! May all the blessings be with us all. Amen.
Well, I won't talk (write to be exact) long now. I just want to leave my 'footsteps' here, since I never post a single entry from the last October. Haha there are some technical errors here. The wifi connection was cut and I was not able to post anymore. Huhu I still can post, but not as often as I did before. So, just keep reading. :D

Umm, I am 21 now. It's on November 1st and I'm sooo happy about that! On that day, I had my final day of PORANTI and I participate in almost all the games. I had futsal, basketball and skipping. 2010 got almost all of the awards and guess what? I finally scored in basketball! *confetti and balloon in the air*
Yes, yes, please give me a huge applause. HAHAHA it was my first time, anyway and on my birthday. Yeah, enough for my birthday present and I got all the euphoria! Woo-hoo!
What could be better when on your birthday you had your friends around you, your loved one, many birthday wishes and prayers, and so on that you could die? I got that moment when Agnes finally got her big fluffy unicorn doll, that's priceless. What about the gifts? I got some and that's... awesome. :)

I thought that I ever told you about my little nephew, Fadhil, right? He's 2 years old now, unfortunately he can't speak yet, but it doesn't have the deal about loving him. Hehe I just 'love the way you are' on him and I really do. Although sometimes I nearly gave up babysitting him but it's always fun having him in home. You know, that moment that are so priceless you couldn't afford with and you are just so into it. I enjoy having this aunty role at home and being a good daughter to my mother. My mother talks a lot now. I mean, we can talk about nothing to something at home and gossipping about the others. It's so fun and that's what I always want to have with my mother. Joking around and listen to what your mothers told, I always love that. It feels like my mother trusts me and wants me to hear her. You know, Mom, I always do and I really do. :)
Too bad I didn't give her anything on mothers' day on December 22nd last year. I was planning on giving her present on mother's day or at unpredictable time, I always want to give her something. I know I still can't talk about my personal matters with her, but I don't want her to get hurt. She's a bit sharp-tounged, I think all mothers are, yet she's so lovely. Best mother in the world, yup my version.

Well, 2013 has given me sooooo much stories to be remembered. Many cool movies I've watched with Adit and my friends. Falling down, dramas, tears, one-day outs, quarelling, laughters, dating, etc, etc. Talking about drama... I'm so done with this.
By the way, I and Adit has been 20 and more months now, we're going to have the 2nd anniversary! Heheh sounds cheesy, but I'm always counting. You know, girls always love counting and remembering things. Their sense of detective are sharper than a detective, even a dog! Just try hiding something from them, as soon as possible they will find out and catch you in the first place. Beware of girls' power.

That's all I could write to you. Stay healthy, Fellas.

welcoming 21, hehe

Hello, my dear fellas. It's almost 9 pm here. Well, I had PORANTI today in Sekar Futsal Club. PORANTI is like... errr... you know you and your friends in campus held fun sport session in a week. It is followed by our juniors and seniors in the same department, yes yes English Department. This year, we become the host or committee for PORANTI. It's so fun to have such an occasion. I'm so proud to be a part of this program. :)

Well, we from year 2010, so far get the first place in Tug of War championship for girl and boy category and the newest achievement we got the first place in Girls Futsal. Hehehe I must be on that team today, but seems I didn't have to do it, tho. My friends are strong enough to cover 2012-team's attacks. They were a bit difficult to defeat. :D

Anyway, you are doing great, Guys! :)

Hehehe it's October 31st, right? You know, tomorrow will be my day. I hope so. Hahaha :p

Ugh, I have to take a bath now. Hahaha yeah, I haven't done it since this morning! Okay, wish us luck for our basket final tomorrow. We'll get that "Juara Umum" predicate! Yes, it should be! AMEN.

See you around, folks. Be good. :)

one point 5

Hi, hi, Fellas. Long time no see. See you guys again in this October. Well, November will come in no time and it's gonna be my month. Yeeeeeeaaaayyyy!!! *smirk*

Okay, okay, off of this topic. Now, I want to tell you guys about my 26th-day-in-every-month. So, two days ago I had my relationship for one and a half year. Yeeeaaahhh! Hahahahaha I'm so happy that I could fly!

Yep, I don't want to be that 'alay' creature or couple since I, ALWAYS, celebrate my monthly anniversary in 26. Yet, it always be our routine and we can't stop! No, that's our ritual. Even we often don't have a proper celebration and it's not always at the exact date. We can just chill out at date 27 or 28. It's just 'monthly anniversary', not a big deal. And why I always do this kind of thing every month, cause I need to 'evaluate' what we've been through. What we've done. What we've felt each other. We have to talk about this and criticize each other if necessary. We are not that kinda romantic couple, though. Nooo, we're just like brother and sister sometimes, best friend, silly couple (most time), well...

We might meet everyday, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, always be together anytime anywhere. However, we'll spare a special time to our own. Just the two of us. Talking about us now and then, even we talk about the others. :D

My dear folks, it's midnight here. I'll see you guys later here. Keep subscribing. Be good! Gutten Nacht. :)

Sunday morning rain is not falling

Hello, hiiiiii. Pfffttt, it's Sunday anyway. Sunday morning exactly. I don't know what I'm thinking about, but I just want to type something here. Well, my room is back to normal, although there still ashes or dirt in particular place. I just changed my bed cover and it's strawberry on it. :D

By the way, I'm going to be 21 soon. Heheheheh that's not the point though. I remembered someone ever said that maturity comes when you are 21 years old. I don't know, since here in Indonesia 17 years old can be considered that you are mature enough to decide your own future. I think it depends on the actor who does it whether they want to do it now or later. Honestly, I haven't decided my future yet. Yep, I don't have a certain goal for my life. What I want to be in the future or where I have to go to make my life better. I don't know what I have to be...

Pathetic.

I think many or even most of people around the world still can't imagine what they want to be in the future. Soon, when I graduate from this Uni, I want to have a job. Anything. I want to have my own salary and fulfill my own needs, etc. Simple as it is. Yet, actually I'm scared of what happens next, I'm not ready yet for it. Hhh, I also haven't found a good topic for my thesis. Aaarrghhh, @#$%^&!

My boy and I are still wondering what we will do after graduation. He said, he wants to get a job, a proper job with a good salary. If it is possible, I want to take S2. It may take 5 or 6 years and we'll marry. Hehehe ameeen. But only God know what will happen in the future. We human just could prepare and plan what best for us.

I must be out of mind or something. Please, Nying. It's Sunday. It's morning. It's 10:05! Go back to your bed and arrange your future!
 

Okay, off of this topic, we'll talk again later. Happy weekend. :)

almost vanished by the fiiiiire *doo bee doo bee doo bee doo bee doo*

Waaaks, hello bloggers. Long time no see :D

It happened approximately thirteen hours ago, rainy outside, totally blackout, hot air, panicked, nervous, lalala yeyeye. -_-

I only had candles in my room when the blackout occurred. Well, this is sooo yesterday but I have no choice. I don't really like being in a dark room, rainy, the temperature is raising, in this such situation. I. Really. Hate. This. Really.

So, I burned two candles and placed them in a plastic bowl and I filled a little water in it. One was succeed, but the other was failed. The bowl was wet and I couldn't dry it by any utensils around me. So, I just placed it on the top of a plastic candy jar. The one in the plastic bowl started to melt away and gone. The other one still was survive, but it was just about 5 cm long. 'Oh, it won't be long. I'll prepare another one and burn it,' my brain said.

And, fuck.

I fell asleep.

Feeling so exhausted, torridity, panicked, nervous, scared, etc etc. Previously, I put the candles on the table. The table is made from wood and I leave a 5-cm-long burning candle on it aaaaand I overslept. Guess what happened next? Yes, yes, the table is BUUUUURRRNNNEEEDDD!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh. God. Why?

It's relieved that it burned a little part of the table top, not the whole thing. This is so kampret and I could just put out the fire using anythings around my hands. I hit it with plastic fan, pour it with water from the plastic bowl. Yeah, the fire started to go out and I covered the burned area with sajadah. :|

I just reach everything near me and put on the fire. I'm totally panicked and nervous. If only you guys could hear my heartbeat. It was rushing. Good thing the fire is gone, although I have to let my sajadah go. Well, it's the saddest thing, though...

I only relied the light from my cellphone to clean things and cover it. The ashes, burned things (my bracelets, my two bottles of nail polish, everything I cherish more :'(), the newspaper, plastic things around the burned area, even my tosca purse were thrown away. Yes, I have to do this, because those things are burned. Thank God, the money is saved, so I can continue my life here. Poor thing, the motorcycle keys of Apin's and my boy's and the STNK of Apin's motorcycle are burned. Not the whole area, it just a little part of its corner. I must be so careless, sloppy, yeah whatever it is. Now, I have to find a good answer if Apin asks later why her things are burned. Help me! :'(

I won't use the little candle in a short time I guess. Ummm, may be a big one with a sturdy base and I place it on an anti-burned mat. I should buy one as soon as possible, considering I can't afford the emergency lamp which can be charged and used when the blackout is occurred. Rainy season is coming, blackout will come often. I should prepare one though. :)

Well, wish me luck. It does make me cautious. Be careful with burning things, fire, candles, whatever they are. Don't leave it alone and you must be 100000000% awake to make sure if the burning candle almost runs out. I've cleaned the mess last night, at that time. Mop the floor once the power is on. Ugh, my room was totally messy. Ashes everywhere, the ceiling is covered with spiderweb and ashes, burned smell everywhere, burned smoke, aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhh totally fucked! :|

The post is untidy, swearing, ah I'm depressed, but I'm okay. Oh what I'm thinking about... Well, be good, Fellas. Always be alert and 100% awake for every situation.

See you around. :)

I got nothing but love to give :D

Hehehe hello, Fellas. I'm listening to Far East Movement featuring Cover Drive's song now. You know, that "Turn Up the Love" song. Very easy listening, I love the song from the first time I saw the video clip on TV. Very cool! :D

Well, I'm no longer in a state where I always feel guilty towards my high school best friend. Yes yes, that person who I tell you in the previous post. You know, best friend never ends! Just talk to them what you really feel, no worries, no guilty feelings, no boundaries, no problems. Happily ever after, amen. :)

By the way, this is my first post in October, right? Hahaha where have I been? Sorry, I don't have enough time to update this blog, since there are so many presentations and their friends which I have to conduct it. Today, I (think) am successfully presenting my task, with my friends of course, in Pranata Masyarakat Inggris dan Amerika class. Although, I'm not really good in presenting a material and still have the handout in my hands and read it, in front of the class. Horrible! However, I still can handle the presentation, well, a little nervous here and there though. It's a big success. My lecturer says it was good, although it takes a long time to present all the materials. Hehehe good thing it all ends with a good mark. *winking* *winking* *winking*

Today also, I have PLU test with Culayla, one of my partners in Pranata presentation. The test is actually easy, super easy. But what on earth, how could I not bring my notes from my third semester when I first time I take the subject??? HOW COULD I? I have my answers wrong two numbers in matching number test. WHAT? What the heck! -_-

I have two, eeerrr actually one and a half meetings with my friends in the afternoon, after I took the exam. Well, this is a super tired day. Gotta reply my friend soon. Wish me luck for my Media presentation tomorrow. See you around, Fellas. MWAH! ;)