I don't know, I just feel like I'm broken heart :(

Hello, hello. Good evening, Fellas. Well, I'm not broken heart literally. I mean, my boyfriend and I are okay, we are totally okay. It's not about us though. I'll tell about 'her'. We were very good acquainted in the back days. Very very good.

I don't know exactly 'what's going on' about us. We are really really really different than we were in the old days. We used to hang out together, chill out, having lunch and whatsoever. It is just too bad realizing we are not that close anymore. You know, since I get acquainted with my boyfriend, she is not that welcome. I know, that's my fault, my weakness, ah whatever. One thing I'm not really sure about her is what's about her then? She's just not good enough than me. And why she exaggerates to blame me and so on! I don't really get her. She is so... complicated.

I know, it's so coward to write this on blog. I just don't understand her. I really love her, back in time we were very best friend and I still do. You know, it's like reciprocal relationship between us. Let's make an analogy. She does the similar thing as I do. She goes through similar events as I do. The result is we are just the same. The question then is why does she feel higher than me and humiliate me so damn bad? She's not that great though.

I don't hate her. No, I'm just disappointed. I feel like I'm not worth her enough to be friends. She's not the one I knew back in time. She's different. Totally different. I don't like her to be different. Yet, that's her right. You know that Gotye's song titled "Somebody I Used to Know", I feel that it's sooo me. No, it's sooo us. Ah, what am I thinking? :/

She will never hear me. She just does what she likes and ignores what people say. If only I can talk to her like we used to. I can just call her and chew her out. It may be rude or something, but I just don't like the way she is! I feel like I don't know her anymore. What's so wrong about caring to your friend? Your high school best friend? She is the typical girl that if I criticize her, she will attack me. She'll criticize me brutally. It's okay, even it's normal insulting your best friend like addressing them bitch, slut, or whatever it is. It becomes rude or unusual to insult your best friend like they are lower than you. It is brutally not normal! I said it's rude! It's not a normal conversation between your friend. It's judging!

I know it will not stop or even end my anger or solve the problem. I just need to decrease the level of my anger. It's not even worth it to angry to her. Well, who am I? You know, Gotye's song. It's her right. I don't have the authority to control her life and change her what I want her to be. I just oppose the way she is not the way she lives!

Long night. Good night, Bloggers. Be good :)

2nd September (with you)

So, this is our second September of our relationship. Hihi nothing's special, no celebration though. We're just spending time together, chatting and so on. I love we are being together in every moment and event. Our prayers never stop. Just wish us best for the rest of our life. God never stop listening. Happy weekend! :)

quote of the day

People always judges and complaints about things, you do too. Sometimes, they're arguing and take a blame on each other, you do too. We are not weak, we just sometimes lose hopes. Keep struggling and face your day. Be good, Fellas.

cold evening and everything

Hello, this is me again. As always, I've been spent my whole afternoon until now in front of my room browsing in internet. Hehehe if there is a way, why do I not get through it? Well, since there such a facility here to access internet, wi-fiii for freee, YEAAAHHH! Okay, I'll just get to the point. I won't take a long post, just a few paragraphs. I love writing! :D

Oh, I smell terasi. You know terasi? It is an ingredient, I mean a very crucial ingredient if you want to make spicy sauce a la Indonesian a.k.a sambel ulek. Woh, that is crazy! Indonesian people can't live I think without sambel in their daily meals. You know, it's like there is something missing in your life. It's not complete. Sambel is like a missing puzzle which can make your whole life perfect. YEAH! :D

I must be so empty and missing to eat that kinda spicy food. Ugh!

Off of this topic, then. :)

Well, I'll show some pictures. Keep silent. See it. Feel it.

  

Sooooo, this is my man. My half. My everything. My reason to smile. My strength. Hehehe I don't ask you to describe him whatsoever. I just want to show you, this man. He might not be as perfect as prophet or as handsome as those guys out there, even they are not perfect though. But, I love the way he loves me, the way we talk about future or anything, I love everything about him! You know, everything. :)

We do love beaches, movies, foods, songs, and so on. We might have different taste of a thing. If it was me, it depends my mood. If it was him, it depends on his mood and me. :p

It might be too risky to show these pictures of him, but I don't care. There are always been ways to solve it. :)

I always like to see his face. I love those eyes of him. His smile. His laughter. Long and thin arms of him. I love it! I hope we can have such a happy life, a long last relationship, a good future, everything. Amen.

in sunset we trust...

Good afternoon, Love. How are you? It's nice to see you again. I only remember the walks and paths we take up to this level. Well, it's not easy, you know it, too. We just don't stop trying and trying. We keep trust each other. Something that everyone can't have. I only remember the way you take my hands, grab it and grip tightly. It's warm, I like it so much.

I remember the last time I feel so insecure and restless. Why do I feel that way since you're always next to me? One thing I know for sure, I'm such a possessive-insecure-childish girl. You can imagine how it feels. I only remember I stare at you with damp eyes, watery nose, my mouth closed-tight, and my head starts to blow up!

But then, we talk. We talk about things. Many things. Talking, talking, talking. I only remember your arms around me. Warm. Peaceful. Safe.

random post. hehehe :p

Hello, Bloggers. I just want to tell you something about 'bottle'. Wait... what? Yes, yes, bottle. That slim and not so big nor so small thing made from plastic which can be filled with water or any liquid. I have two in my boarding house. Sometimes, I just feel exhausted and drink water as much as I could. Well, that's not the point. I usually boil my own drink. Yes, yes, you can say take water from the water tap and boil it until voila! You can drink it when it is warm or less warm. I filled my two bottles with the boiled water and took it to the refrigerator. A few days later, I found one of my bottles is half empty (the other bottle is in my room). Wow, wow, wow. Well, well, well. I'm getting robbed! *swearing, swearing, swearing*

There are so many precious and luxurious things in my boarding house, but why this silly robber spend a half water in my bottle?! What so hard to ask me or even tell anybody else here to share it. I don't take it seriously anyway, I just don't like her action. Yep, I'm sure the suspect is female, since only a few males come here and I'm really really sure, they will not have the courage to drink my water. EEEEERRRRGGGGHHHH! Oh, man, this is getting serious.

Okay, so I just threw my anger to Apin and my boyfriend. I complaint everything. Luckily, they want to hear my statement and also give me suggestion to name my bottles. I mean I write my name on each bottle. Also I add a note on the bigger bottle like: "YOU WANT? ASK ME. JUST DON'T TRY TO STEAL THE WATER!"

Ridiculous? Childish? Yes, I know. I just don't like the way they steal and in-appreciate my effort to make my healthy water. They are just the same with robbers out there. @#$%^&*